Choose to Be Chosen

Sorry for not writing last week, I had a reason, but I don't remember what it was haha. We had zone conference this week which was wonderful as always. President discoursed on Elder Bednar's talk on the marriage feast. He talked about the different groups of people in the story. In the parable, the king's son is getting married and the king invites the nobility to attend. They refuse. He sends more messengers and says, I've got a bunch of food and a great jester, please come! A few of them just make light of it, but the rest actually kill the messengers. The king is pretty upset so he sends forth his armies and murders them all. He then says, well I already got all this food ready, go and invite everyone you can find. The people who attend are given a wedding garment to wear but one of these refuses even though he is given the opportunity. Because of this, the ungrateful guest is bound hand and foot and cast into outer darkness. 

President first spoke about those that are bidden but would not come. These are they that are full of pride, that will not submit to authority and miss out on the blessings of the feast. Those that are given much opportunity but do not take advantage of it. They don't believe that the king has anything to offer them that's better than what they could come up themselves. The majority of the world is in this group, largely because of ignorance and lack of faith. 

Then he spoke about those that are called but not chosen. The man who was invited but refused to put on the garment. These people "cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:37).

Ultimately, they want to replace God or the king. They know that in order to enter the feast, one must wear the garment, and yet they seek to obtain the blessing without obeying the law. 

The glorious truth of the parable is that we ultimately choose whether or not we will be chosen. 

"To be or to become chosen is not an exclusive status conferred upon us. Rather, you and I ultimately can choose to be chosen through the righteous exercise of our moral agency" (David A. Bednar).

Some people may not be given the opportunity as early as others, but all will receive it. For God is no respecter of persons, yet will always respect our agency. Interestingly, the man is cast into outer darkness where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. I think this response is not because of the judgment of the king, but because the man recognizes that if he had just submitted, he would have received all that he ever wanted. Knowledge so often brings sorrow. What's most intriguing to me about this parable is that I see myself in all three groups. I've been happier when I choose to be chosen, weeping and wailing is no fun, I promise. Love you guys! Choose to be chosen!

 

Lose Yourself

This week went by fast. I had an exchange with Elder Mitchell, which has led me to be pretty introspective all week. He and I came out together, and I've always had tons of respect for him. He is a different breed of missionary. I've never met anyone like him-- he is an excellent example of "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior." I feel like my attitude has changed but not always my behavior. I still have reservations about just losing myself in the work. I've tried my whole mission to balance the mantle I have and the human I am. I'm not sure what the right approach is-- to find a balance or to give up everything that keeps you from the other. 

Luke 9:24-25

24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 

25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?

The Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible adds some interesting commentary:

24 For whosoever will save his life, must be willing to lose it for my sake; and whosoever will be willing to lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

25 For what doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and yet he receive him not whom God hath ordained, and he lose his own soul, and he himself be a castaway?

Hence the introspection. Am I willing to lose my life? I feel like that sometimes. But most of the time, there's still a barrier; uncertainty, doubt, I'm not sure what to call it. I've been really focusing on trying to figure out what my offering is supposed to be to the Lord. I don't think it's a cookie cutter thing. I would assume the rich diversity of mankind would require distinct offerings. Elder Mitchell said, "God makes our weaknesses into strengths, mankind has the tendency to make strengths into weaknesses." I think that's true. I know I'm guilty of that. I've often heard the concept that whatever we want, doing God's will will be better, because he can make so much more of us than we can. If I really believed that, my actions would be different. I'm sure of it. So I'm going to experiment upon the word. I like to give God a shot to work miracles in my life;). I love you guys. Do what will bring you happiness this week.

-Elder Dahl

He is the Same

Transfers were this week. My new companion's name is Tytan Moos. Yes. He is everything you would imagine. It's pretty amazing to me how change gives me such a huge burst of spiritual momentum. That, coupled with conference has made things pretty great here. I hope you guys know that I believe and sustain the prophets. I really do. I believe that if we follow the prophet, we won't go astray. In fact, I would say we have never needed a prophet more than we do now. Without the restored gospel, there is nothing but confusion and darkness. We've struggled to get people to church all last transfer but we had a lot of our friends watch at least one session of conference. It was inspiring to me to see people who know next to nothing of our faith be so intrigued with what a modern day prophet would say. One of our friends watched the Sunday morning session and says he took six pages of notes. He also said it was a "pretty heavy dose of Mormonism." I think it's a pretty heavy dose of revelation. Revelation from God today, revelation through past prophets and hopefully a catalyst for revelation straight to you. I know it's always that way for me. I loved the prophet's words about rest. I think I wrote earlier in my mission about how much of a grind I felt it was. As the prophet spoke, I was struck at how restful being a missionary has become. I'm not tired, because I go to sleep on time every night. I'm somewhat extroverted, so interacting with more people gives me greater energy. I no longer desire to just sit and waste time. There are so many things I can learn from people and so many people that need me! It is incredible to be spearheading the great work of gathering Israel. I testify that the promises associated with this work of salvation are real and glorious. This is the work of almighty God. Not kinda mighty, but omnipotent. Nothing has changed-- He is the same. I don't know what more I can say. Life is good. I believe this stuff! Jesus is king. I love you guys! 

-Elder Dahl

More Than Conquerors

Elder Whitesides was super sick Tuesday and Wednesday, and I got sick Friday and Saturday so this week was not super productive. We were able to get a lot done on Thursday though so I'm grateful for that. Having so much time being unable to do missionary work was pretty educative. One of the promises in my call is "more joy than you have yet experienced await you as you humbly and prayerfully serve the lord in this labor of love among his children." I've had some tough days on my mission where I've really questioned this promise. But as I've been unable to perform this labor of love this week, I was struck by how miserable I was. I was also throwing up and in pain but just not doing anything felt terrible. I really do enjoy being a missionary. I love talking to people about the things that matter most. I was able to study a lot more than normal this week which was wonderful. I relistened to most of last conference-- it is so powerful! I think Patrick Kearon and Jorg Klebingat are worth a relisten.

 
Jesus has overcome the abuses of this world to give you power to not only survive but one day, through Him, to overcome and even conquer—to completely rise above the pain, the misery, the anguish, and see them replaced by peace.

I don't think we internalize the atonement enough. I've heard so many people testify that Jesus can walk on water and give sight to the blind and rise from the dead. Yet their personal struggles are outside of his ability, or worse-- outside of his care. He has paid the price to be able "to succor his people according to their infirmities." And to "bless us and deliver us forever." He has the capability and "every book of scripture demonstrates how willing the Lord is to intervene in the lives of those who believe in Him." He is able and he wants to. But he cannot unless we invite him, unless we exercise faith. I believe these things, and it blesses my life every single day. I love you guys!

-Elder Dahl

Filled With Light

We had a training in zone conference about letting our purpose drive every single thing that we do as missionaries, and to be honest, when the training was given, I didn't get it. I had no clue how to do that or what it meant. Our purpose is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.

Which is great and full of depth and focus. But I was confused as to how I could have that purpose impact how I eat breakfast or how I work out or how I shop. However, as understanding eluded me, I continued to wrestle about what I could do to let my purpose drive everything. I read this as I struggled to learn, 

And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.

Here is an if-then principle from the Lord: if my eye is single to God's glory, then I will be full of light and understand all things. Having eyes single to God's glory is an incredible example of grace. The fact that we even can partake of his divine nature and be enlarged to comprehend Him fills me with gratitude. 

But anytime there's an if-then statement in the scriptures, I like to test it. In the safeguards for missionaries, it explains this principle:

To have your eye single to the glory of God means to have your focus completely on God’s purpose—which is also your purpose as a missionary.

So if my focus is always on my purpose, then I will understand all things. So to put it simply, in order to receive understanding about how to have my purpose drive everything I do, I learned that the prerequisite is doing just that! It's one eternal round! We've been discussing in comp study how we can do this better. Instead of being isolated in the gym, we play Pickleball with a bunch of local older people outside. Instead of studying in our apartment, we do it in the community room. Instead of just getting what we need at the store, we talk to everyone. 

And as a consequence of these experiences, I gained understanding! The promise is true, He really is bound to bless us when we do what He says. I've received so much light and truth on my mission, and I'm grateful for my decision to serve. I love the people I'm teaching now and I love the people I've been able to serve. Go and find a new friend this week, it's truly a great joy. I love you guys. 

-Elder Dahl

Walking by Faith

At the end of the day I'm another day older. These weeks just flow. I feel like I'm in a bit of lull, being just over halfway. So much behind me and so much more to do. We dropped basically everyone this week, but in doing so, we've found people way better. This is the second time on my mission I've experienced this. We found our friend Monica street contacting outside our apartment. She's a big fan of the new testament. We met an inactive member's husband who is super nice and willing to chat. We taught a lesson this week and our friend Bill said to me, "You're the best missionary I've ever met with. I can tell you really believe this stuff, that you're not just out here because you have to, but because you want to." Bill is a Freemason and hasn't met with missionaries in 30 years, so the compliment falls a little flat. I'm glad he gets that impression from me. There are a lot of times where I feel utterly useless-- unable to change the people I'm teaching, my area, or my companion. I had the opportunity to speak on Sunday, and it was a pretty cool experience. I had written a few bullet points and put some quotes down in preparation, but when I got up there, I spoke on something completely different, didn't reference my notes at all, didn't look down once, and filled all the time. I don't even remember the majority of what I said-- it was a pretty miraculous experience for me. There was no specific reason for it that I could see. I could've given my talk that was prepared, and it would've been fine, yet I didn't. Sometimes God blesses us even when we don't need it just to show us He's there.

I've been thinking about how individually God knows us and interacts with us. I want an intensely personal relationship with Deity. The stake president said, "we always pray to have the spirit to be with us, we don't need to. We receive that gift by being worthy members of the Church. We should pray for the courage to respond and act on our promptings." I liked the thought. It's a paradigm shift for me to quit worrying about whether I'm in tune with the spirit and just act, exercising faith that God will guide me. 

I've been studying Jesus the Christ, and I love this quote:

Hungry as Jesus was, there was a temptation in Satan’s words even greater than that embodied in the suggestion that He provide food for His famishing body—the temptation to put to proof the possible doubt implied in the tempter’s “If.” The Eternal Father had proclaimed Jesus as His Son; the devil tried to make the Son doubt that divine relationship. Why not prove the Father’s interest in His Son at this moment of dire necessity? Was it proper that the Son of God should go hungry? Had the Father so soon forgotten as to leave His Beloved Son thus to suffer? Was it not reasonable that Jesus, faint from long abstinence, should provide for Himself, and particularly so since He could provide, and that by a word of command, if the voice heard at His baptism was that of the Eternal Father. If thou be in reality the Son of God, demonstrate thy power, and at the same time satisfy thy hunger—such was the purport of the diabolical suggestion. To have yielded would have been to manifest positive doubt of the Father’s acknowledgment.

I've never really thought about the fact that Christ received not of the fulness at the first, but received grace for grace, that the temptations of the adversary were real and tempting to Him. He didn't have a perfect knowledge of His father's existence and his divine role. Even the Savior had to walk by faith. This understanding was revolutionary to me-- it brought me so much peace and comfort in a way only a spirit filled study of the scriptures can. I love you guys! 

-Elder Dahl

The Meaning of All Things

This week was wonderful. Elder Whitesides is a big fan of theological speculation so we've been going through a lot of peripheral teachings. I'm learning what it means to be built upon the rock. The restoration makes blindingly clear our purpose, potential, and responsibility in this life. It also opens up all kinds of mysteries. I've found like Nephi that I know that the Lord loveth his children, nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things. I love The Book of Mormon, it is the keystone of my religion and my faith. I'm seeing miracles as I exercise faith-- I don't exercise faith enough. My understanding of the atonement is still lacking; I sometimes fear man more than God. I don't feel like my eye is single yet. I want to have increased ownership in my mission experience and my life. I want to be totally intentional with every action. I pray that God makes me a better man. More humble, more disciplined. We teach simply, we love people, and we work hard because that's what makes us happy. Normal life is foreign. I've got so much left to put on the altar. I don't see anything as black and white as I once did. There's a lot more gray in the gospel than I wish there was, but were it not so, we wouldn't need to exercise faith. I'm cultivating relationships with the members here, and it's incredible. They're amazing people with such powerful devotion to God. I'm so blessed to be able to learn from their examples. Teaching has been so so-- our pool is definitely sub par. I've found that if you stop teaching, it kills the Spirit in your life, so we've been making it a goal to teach every day. Even if it is each other. I've been struggling a lot with the parable of the talents. 

14 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.

15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.

16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.

17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.

18 But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money.

19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.

20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.

21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.

23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:

25 And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.

26 His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:

27 Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.

28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.

29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

It's been hard for me to see people so richly blessed with ability and harder to see people so weakly endowed. Coexisting and working with people who are too far either way is miserable. Having such a richly individualistic society gives greater opportunity to accomplish according to the measure of your responsibility, and yet leads to a prideful people who walk not in the ways of the lord. 

When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish (2 Nephi 9:28).

The mechanics of mortality are so incredibly complex and nuanced. I'm grateful for God and for his prophets who see so much more than I. I'm grateful for the talents that I have stewardship over right now. I'm doing my best to help others also magnify their calling. Seeing through heaven's eyes is incredible, I know we can all be so much more than we are. I know that God wants us to be so much more. In fact I know he wants us to be like Him. And he's prepared a way to do so through the sacrifice of His Son. Keep moving forward. Always. Love you guys.

-Elder Dahl