At the end of the day I'm another day older. These weeks just flow. I feel like I'm in a bit of lull, being just over halfway. So much behind me and so much more to do. We dropped basically everyone this week, but in doing so, we've found people way better. This is the second time on my mission I've experienced this. We found our friend Monica street contacting outside our apartment. She's a big fan of the new testament. We met an inactive member's husband who is super nice and willing to chat. We taught a lesson this week and our friend Bill said to me, "You're the best missionary I've ever met with. I can tell you really believe this stuff, that you're not just out here because you have to, but because you want to." Bill is a Freemason and hasn't met with missionaries in 30 years, so the compliment falls a little flat. I'm glad he gets that impression from me. There are a lot of times where I feel utterly useless-- unable to change the people I'm teaching, my area, or my companion. I had the opportunity to speak on Sunday, and it was a pretty cool experience. I had written a few bullet points and put some quotes down in preparation, but when I got up there, I spoke on something completely different, didn't reference my notes at all, didn't look down once, and filled all the time. I don't even remember the majority of what I said-- it was a pretty miraculous experience for me. There was no specific reason for it that I could see. I could've given my talk that was prepared, and it would've been fine, yet I didn't. Sometimes God blesses us even when we don't need it just to show us He's there.
I've been thinking about how individually God knows us and interacts with us. I want an intensely personal relationship with Deity. The stake president said, "we always pray to have the spirit to be with us, we don't need to. We receive that gift by being worthy members of the Church. We should pray for the courage to respond and act on our promptings." I liked the thought. It's a paradigm shift for me to quit worrying about whether I'm in tune with the spirit and just act, exercising faith that God will guide me.
I've been studying Jesus the Christ, and I love this quote:
Hungry as Jesus was, there was a temptation in Satan’s words even greater than that embodied in the suggestion that He provide food for His famishing body—the temptation to put to proof the possible doubt implied in the tempter’s “If.” The Eternal Father had proclaimed Jesus as His Son; the devil tried to make the Son doubt that divine relationship. Why not prove the Father’s interest in His Son at this moment of dire necessity? Was it proper that the Son of God should go hungry? Had the Father so soon forgotten as to leave His Beloved Son thus to suffer? Was it not reasonable that Jesus, faint from long abstinence, should provide for Himself, and particularly so since He could provide, and that by a word of command, if the voice heard at His baptism was that of the Eternal Father. If thou be in reality the Son of God, demonstrate thy power, and at the same time satisfy thy hunger—such was the purport of the diabolical suggestion. To have yielded would have been to manifest positive doubt of the Father’s acknowledgment.
I've never really thought about the fact that Christ received not of the fulness at the first, but received grace for grace, that the temptations of the adversary were real and tempting to Him. He didn't have a perfect knowledge of His father's existence and his divine role. Even the Savior had to walk by faith. This understanding was revolutionary to me-- it brought me so much peace and comfort in a way only a spirit filled study of the scriptures can. I love you guys!
-Elder Dahl
No comments:
Post a Comment