This week was pretty slow, no car has been pretty rough. We've been braving the cold weather more and more just to get out of the apartment. Lots of time to study which is wonderful. I wonder how Jesus spent his youth. Evidently he had great knowledge of the scriptures, presumably from an additive diligent study at some point. I've kind of been struggling recently with really finding things that blow my mind. At the beginning of my mission, I just remember having so many spiritual experiences and impressions during personal study. I really felt like I was acquiring spiritual knowledge, but now it seems less frequent. I wonder about those that study the scriptures their entire lives, how they keep learning things that excite them. President Richardson studies the Greek and Hebrew so maybe that's how he keeps it fresh. I'm so grateful for my mission president-- he knows so much! I can't imagine having the depth of knowledge he has. I've been thinking a lot about this scripture:
O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish.
It mentions three of the faults of our mortal state. First our vanity, our pride and ego. Our desire to be right and to be great and to have dominion. Our arrogance. Then our frailties, our weaknesses and afflictions, our finite capacities. Finally our foolishness, our tendency to just do things we know are wrong or incongruent with our goals and desires. Our inconsistencies and ignorance.
The scripture then tells us that when we learn something, we think we are wise. That the acquisition of knowledge has a very dangerous side effect, that it often leads us to distrust others' commentary on that subject. In this information age, I've seen this mostly in the subscribe culture. I have had a question prompted by an experience or idea, and I have faith that receiving more knowledge will be worth the effort and positively impact my life. So I seek, out of the best books I can find, or highest ranked Google searches, or most-viewed YouTube videos. And then as I consume content, eventually one of these people gives me what I'm seeking, causes a paradigm shift and really tangibly impacts my life. That moment is massive. All of a sudden, I align my way of thinking with this external authority, because he or she has demonstrated immense value to me. So I stop seeking, stop listening to anyone who contradicts my chosen source. My subscriptions may expand, but only by those I become exposed to by my initial source. Those who follow similar trains of thought. Then, whenever I hear someone talking about the subject, I discover if they also subscribe to my same school of thought. If not, then they must still be ignorant and have settled for a lesser source. Luckily, in my wisdom, I can educate them. I can help them see the light and give them the brilliant epiphany that I and my experts experienced.
This process is too common. Because it creeps into our spiritual lives far too often. We no longer seek to know a God as He is, but we mold Him into a God we would like him to be-- often a cosmic vending machine or an all loving bystander who makes no demands. It's funny how knowing these tendencies doesn't make these problems go away.
Try to learn, but don't become too wise!!
I love you guys!
-Elder Dahl
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